Don't Make Me Leave
by ColorMeCareless
Summary: Ashley Palin, a second class girl who lives with her aunt in Grimsby, Lincolnshire, England. She's best friends with Officer Moody, and now she's berothed to a one, William Murdoch. Chance of surviving sinking: slim. Chance of Love: slim to none.
1. Don't Make Me Leave

_A/N: I'm SOO excited for this story! Alright, just by my my nature this story will be as accurate as possible. I will use every bit of knowledge that I know of _Titanic_... except one painfully obvious bit of information... but that will relieve itself rather shortly! Anyway... enjoy!_

**Don't Make Me Leave**

Chapter 1 - Don't Make Me Leave

"Ashley… Ashley! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!" a middle aged exclaimed panting a bit.

"Why? What is the matter?" Ashley asked putting her book on the nearby table and standing up. The woman just smiled, an odd smile, that slightly worried Ashley. "Aunt Mary, what is so important that you ran about the house in search of me?" Ashley continued, approaching her.

"Someone's here to see you." she stated simply.

"For me?" Ashley thought out loud. She nodded and motioned for her to go into the sitting room. 'For me? Who could be here for me? I mean, it couldn't be… Oh my goodness!'… "James!" Ashley ran to him as he stood there in his White Star Line uniform. I knew it wasn't proper to run and hug him, they weren't child anymore, but she couldn't help it. She hadn't seen him in what felt like years!

"Miss me?" he inquired smiling down at her. He laughed and motioned for he to sit down, she complied and he followed.

"Oh, James. It feels like ages since you left." Ashley laughed.

"Yes, it has, and, by the way the you reacted at me being here this evening, I assume you forgot the date because I told you I would be back today in my last letter."

"You're right! It did slip my mind." she paused, unsure of what to say. 'He's my best friend, I haven't seen him in weeks, and here I am at a lose for words!' "So, you're done with all of this seafaring business, right? I mean, you've learned what you had to learn, and served unimaginably well, I imagine." she joked looking at James hopefully.

He smiled and shook his head, "No, Ashley, sorry to say. And, boy are you going to hate me when I tell you…" he began.

"Tell me what?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Tell you that… I'm leaving for Liverpool tomorrow."

"You're leaving tomorrow… so soon?" she muttered. "James Paul Moody, how dare you? How dare you leave me here again! I never see you anymore!" Ashley raised her voice, the loss of contact with her friend was slowing eating away at her.

"Ashley calm down, please. Listen to me. There's no reason to be sad, or angry with me." he argued.

"Oh, really? And why might that be?" she mock scoffed turning away from him.

"Because… you're coming with me!" he stated a smile growing on his face as she slowly turned to face him. Ashley's eyes grew wide and a look of shear joy spread across her features. "And… and you've heard about the new luxury liner, Titanic?" she nodded, "Well, I've been chosen to be 6th Officer on it!"

"James, that's fantastic!" she exclaimed once again hugging her friend. "But I don't understand, why am I coming with you?"

"Well, your aunt--" he was cut off by the sudden appearance of Ashley's Aunt Mary.

"Aunt Mary?" she began turning to face her aunt who was now sitting in the chair across from her and James, "Why am I going with James on Titanic? What is he talking about? And what does it have to do with you?"

Aunt Marie sighed like she always did before she spoke for a long period of time, "Ashley, as I am sure you are well aware, you are twenty years old and not getting younger. The fact that you do not have a suitor worries me greatly and-- don't you roll your eyes at me!-- anyway, you not having a suitor concerns me because I raised you, and my whole life my greatest dream was to see you off and married to a suitable man.

"You are letting your youth slip away, passing up any and every chance at a suitor that has ever come your way. I have even given you and James permission to marry, but neither of you seem willing to commit to each other in such a way. As such, as your guardian, I have taken the initiative. Yes, I have taken the matter into my own hands and have chosen a suitable husband for you. I saw, and still see, no other way to resolve this issue, therefore, I stand by what I did and nothing you can do can change what has been done."

Ashley's eyes grew wide. She hoped her aunt was joking, toying with her. Using this guise as a way to scare her into finding a suitor. Unfortunately, she knew that her aunt was not of the joking sort, "What?! Are you serious?! What do you expect me to say to all of this? 'Oh yes, thank you Aunt! All I needed was you to find the right man for me! How could I have thought I could find love on my own!?' No! I would never say such a thing. I am no brainless, mindless whore that you can just give to the first agreeable man that happens upon your path! I would object to such a heinous action, but obviously I have no say in the matter even when it concerns my life!" Ashley stood and shouted not believing what was happening to her.

She looked at her aunt who sat there as calm as she had been when she ruined Ashley's life. She turned to James who looked at her shocked, "James, James, please tell me you only just found out about this. If I should find out that you've been keeping something like this from me, I shall never forgive you…" Ashley whispered despair woven into her tone.

He grasped her hand in his and looked up at her, "Believe me, your aunt only just told when I arrived here today. Never, never would I keep something from you." She smiled glad to have someone on her side.

"Who is it?"

"Pardon?" Aunt Marie replied.

"Who is it? This man I am to marry. I demand to know his name and why I am being forced to leave my home in such a hurry. Is he American? Is that why I must sail on Titanic?" She had to ask, she needed to know. She dreaded the question, dreaded the answer, but it needed to be asked. She wasn't about to go into this blindly.

"Murdoch, William McMaster Murdoch…"

"Titanic's Chief Officer." Moody finished. A heavy, empty silence filled the room in the moments it took Ashley to compose herself and reply.

"So, we leave tomorrow, then?" James nodded, "I shall be heading off to bed, Aunt Mary, don't bother to have dinner made for me. Good night Aunt, good night James." Ashley acknowledged before walking toward the staircase.

"Excuse me, Ma'am." James stood himself up and walked after Ashley to accompany her to her room. "Ashley," he whispered, "Give him a chance, what do you say?"

"I have no choice, but if you're going to be there, then I just might reconsider jumping overboard."

"Ah, see now that's the spirit!" James laughed which convinced Ashley to smile.


	2. First Glance

**Don't Make Me Leave**

Chapter 2 - First Glance

"Where is he? He said he would be here after breakfast. If he's late both of you will not arrive at Liverpool by the evening! Does he not understand the importance of you meeting Mr. Murdoch this evening?!" Aunt Mary ranted in hysterics pacing about the porch.

'Does she not understand that James is the one that will be in seriously trouble with The White Star Line if _he_ is not there on time?! And, my God! She acts as though I have been waiting all my life to meet Mr. Murdoch! She's even lending us her automobile! We surely can't be late! Thatwoman is so backwards…' Ashley mentally scoffed as should stood, patiently, waiting for the arrival of James. He came walking into view lugging a rather large suitcase behind him, thankfully he only lived 2 houses over!

"Oh, Mr. Moody, there you are! I almost thought you had forgotten poor Ashley here! Come, come! You can put your suitcase in the back of the car. Yes, Ashley get in and your Uncle Will here will be driving you to Liverpool." Aunt Mary instructed before giving her husband a peck on the cheek and retreating back onto the porch. She waved at the three of them as Uncle Will pulled out of the driveway and drove out of sight.

The first twenty minutes of the ride was passed in complete silence. No one was tired, nor was anyone at a lose for words, none of them knew how to talk about the delicate subject that Liverpool had now become. "So, Uncle, are you planning on driving back home as soon as you leave us at the hotel?" Ashley asked attempting to get her mind off of Mr. Murdoch.

"No, I think I shall take the opportunity of being out of the house and stay the night in Liverpool. Also, my presence might be of assistance should this Mr. Murdoch turn out to be not in your liking." Uncle Will smiled as he looked back slightly at his niece.

'Can no one leave it be?! Why must everyone keep bringing up my unfortunate situation?' "Oh, yes, that's a fine idea Uncle." Ashley agreed turning to look out of the window. 'James is being rather quite…' Ashley observed as she looked at her friend, 'And that would be why, he's asleep.' Ashley laughed.

"What's so funny Dear?" her uncle asked amused.

"James has fallen asleep."

"Ha! Poor boy, must not have slept a wink last night, too excited!" Uncle Will stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Ashley sighed, they had about two and a half hours until they reached Liverpool… sleep didn't sound like a half bad idea to her. 'Keep my mind off of Mr. Murdoch, at least. My mind just keeps going back to the only person in the world I've scorned before even meeting them! Sleep will put my mind to rest.' Ashley figured laying her head on the window and closing her eyes.

"Wake up. Ashley, wake up, were here…" Ashley heard as she was shaken, quite violently awake, by James.

"James! I'm not a heavy sleeper! No need to shake me like that!" she laughed opening the door. "Oh yes, I forgot about the hotel, we do have rooms, don't we?" Ashley asked concerned.

"Yes, The company has booked all the officers, and yourself, rooms here at the," James paused as he looked up at the sign , "at the Hanover Hotel."

"They booked me a room?"

"Yes, I mean, you being engaged to one of the officers, and all-- Anyway, why don't we get inside?" James suggested grabbing his suitcase out of the automobile.

Uncle Will was unloading Ashley's luggage, but handed her one of the suitcases, "I'm getting old… I'm not as strong as I used to be, Dear." he offered as an excuse. She smiled and the three walked into the lobby of the hotel.

James approached the man behind the reception desk, "Hello, two rooms under the White Star Line, please."

"Two rooms, sir?" the man asked confused.

"Yes, myself and the lady." James answered pointing at me behind him.

"Ah, yes well… sign the book, and here are your keys. You two have rooms 213 and 216. Enjoy your stay." the man smiled handing Ashley the keys as James signed in. The three made their way to the elevator and told the attendant that they were situated on the second floor.

"All right, well… I'm going to go unpack, and I suggest you do the same. I'll meet you back out here in about 30 minutes."

"Yes mum." James replied heading into his room.

"Well, thank you for driving us over here. Where are you staying?"

"I'll be staying at a hotel near here… hopefully one less expensive, this place is too much for me." he smiled.

Ashley nodded, "Well, all right, I'll write you and Aunt Mary once we reach Belfast." Ashley stated and hugged her uncle before heading into her own room. Ashley sighed, " I really, really hate unpacking… so I'm just going to hang my dresses and be done with it! No point if it's only for one night." she muttered to herself.

Hanging her dresses took Ashley all of 15 minutes and she then headed out into the corridor to find James already waiting for her. "How long have you been out here?"

"Oh, about 5 minutes, not too long," he answered before starting off along the corridor and down the stairs.

"How far is the walk, do you think?" Ashley inquired as they stepped out into the brisk March air.

"Oh, I'd say not even a mile. Great weather for a walk." Ashley nodded in agreement. The two friends walked along the unfamiliar streets of Liverpool. Ashley suddenly became quite self conscious and began fidgeting with her dress and touching her hair. "Ashley, what are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was just making sure I look alright. It just occurred to me that I'm not just meeting this Mr. Murdoch, but I'm meeting all of the officers and Mr. Ismay."

"Oh dear," he laughed, "You look lovely, don't worry about it. They're not going to care about your dress or your hair. No offense, but it's probably not the first thing on their mind." James consoled.

Ashley nodded, but she couldn't shake the feeling that maybe they wouldn't like her, consider her a nuisance, and when Ashley worried, she became self conscious. She looked down at her lavender dress and touched one of her tight brown curls. Perhaps she should have styled her hair, she really hadn't felt the need to that morning. "Oh well." she sighed.

"What was that?"

"What? Oh nothing. Is that the building?" Ashley asked as a rather large red and white building came into view. "It looks like a huge house!"

"Yes, that's it. It is called Albion House." James laughed. "Bruce Ismay had it built for the company in 1896." He seemed rather proud of the information. The two of them walked into the building and Moody seemed to know exactly where he was going because he asked no one where the meeting was to be held.

"All right, I highly doubt that you'll be allowed into the meeting area. So, please, wait right here, I won't be long and then you can meet… well, you know." James informed her after leading her to a bench in the corridor.

What else had she to do, but sit on that bench and wonder. She wondered what they were talking about in the room. She wondered who the other officers were and what they were like, and she couldn't help but wonder about Mr. Murdoch in general. Was he nice? Mean? Handsome? Plain? Good natured? Bad natured? Entertaining? Boring? All of these question flooded her mind, "I do have to live with him the rest of my life, after all." she whispered dejected, but suddenly perked up and stood as the door to the office opened.

Moody was the first to come out and stood next to her in a sort of protective manor. She looked up at him and he glanced down at her, but immediately back up at the other officers as they exited the room. The last two officers to leave the room caught her eye. One was a younger man, late twenties perhaps, with light brown eyes, and almost black hair. He was rather short, and thin looking in his uniform, but nevertheless she quite liked him, and smiled when he looked her way. 'What a charming smile!' she thought pleasantly.

The other gentleman she hardly noticed until he nodded in her direction. They approached Ashley and James and James moved slightly closer to her. 'For the life of me I don't know why I can't look away from him! He's nothing extraordinary, not plain, though, neither. Something about him though, the way his uniform falls on his figure. No, maybe the hint of smile on the corner of his mouth. No, the younger gentleman has that too.' Ashley searched for the reason behind her attraction. She knew it wasn't right. She was here for Mr. Murdoch, not him. The fact that she couldn't figure it out repulsed her. 'Perhaps, there is nothing special about him. Perhaps I'm just looking for anyone to get my mind off of _him_.'

She dared not look at the other officers for fear of spotting the dreaded terror of a man. The two "handsome" officers approached. First, the younger introduced himself, "Wonderful to meet you Miss. I am Harold Lowe, Fifth Officer." he smiled and bowed his head slightly. She noticed his Welsh accent.

'Harold Lowe, pity. I wouldn't have minded too much if he were Murdoch.' she thought turning to the older officer.

He took her hand and kissed it ever so gently, 'Wow, a true gentleman.' she smiled at him.

"Good evening Miss Palin, young Moody has told me much about you." the man told Ashley letting her hand go.

"Has he?" Ashley began smiling his Scottish accent very soothing. She looked up at James. He didn't necessarily smile back, and she didn't know what to make of the look on his face. "I hope he hasn't bored you to tears Mr.--?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Allow me to introduce myself… I am Will--"

'Oh my God… I knew it!'

"--iam Murdoch, Chief Officer."

Ashley faltered, visibly. "Nice to meet you Mr. Murdoch." she forced a smile and swiftly kicked James' foot. 'Definitely repulsive…'


	3. Any Other Way

_A/N: Hiya! Here's the third chapter! YAY! So, I do hope you have enjoyed the story so far, and will enjoy this part, as well as the rest! Don't forget to review, it makes me feel good _

**Don't Make Me Leave**

Chapter 3 - Any Other Way

'Repulsive. Repulsive and everything I had hoped he would be… I mean wouldn't be, I mean, ugh! This is absolutely terrible! I have to get out of here…' Ashley smiled at the three men surrounding her, "Well, sirs, it has been a pleasure meeting all of you," her gaze paused on Murdoch for a moment, "but I must return to my room I'm very tired. I'll see you all tomorrow, good night." she finished turning on her heels.

"Wait Miss! You can't leave yet. You must meet the other officers." Lowe told her motioning to the men behind him.

"Yes, and after, you _will _join us for dinner." James subtly commanded. She flashed him a steely look, but nodded and was led towards the other men.

"Miss Palin," Murdoch began, "this is Mr. Ismay, the president of the White Star Line." He tipped his hat slightly. "This is 1st Officer Lightoller, 3rd Officer Pitman, 2nd Officer Blair, and 4th Officer Boxhall." All politely greeted her in return.

"Ah, well, enough formalities, time for dinner!" Mr. Ismay exclaimed heading out the door. Ashley quickly linked her arm through Moody's before Murdoch had a chance to offer his, an offer which, she knew she wouldn't be able to refuse.

The small party walked the short distance from the office to the upper class restaurant just around the corner. "7:30 reservations for Ismay, my good man." Mr. Ismay told the host.

"Ah, yes. Right, this way please." the host replied showing them to their table.

Murdoch pulled out Ashley's seat for her, and took the seat to her left, "Oh, thank you." The group of nine sat as follows, clockwise, around the oval table with Mr. Ismay in the 12 o'clock postion: Mr. Ismay, Blair, Moody, Ashley, Murdoch, Lightoller, Lowe, Boxhall, and Pitman. 'Oh, this is fantastic! I'm in for the meal of my life…' Ashley thought sarcastically.

The dinner went by rather uneventfully, except for when Mr. Ismay almost succeeded in having Murdoch's and Ashley's arranged engagement the conversation for the evening. To James' and Ashley's surprise it was Murdoch himself who saved the night by changing the subject, practically immediately, back to _Titanic_. Dinner came to a close, the group left the warm restaurant, and walked out into the chilled night outside. Ashley found herself starring up at the stars, so bright and so plentiful.

A soft voice, that almost sounded like a whisper, coaxed her out of her trance, "The stars are no doubt beautiful tonight."

'My God, that Scottish accent, it made my heart skip a beat.' Ashley thought lowering her gaze to the gentleman in front of her. "Yes, they are very beautiful. I looked up at them and momentarily I felt as though I was back in Grimsby, and I forgot about Liverpool and _Titanic_, and just remembered my family." she smiled contently. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just got all caught up in my thoughts. I hope I didn't embarrass myself too much." she laughed nervously.

He shook his head, "Not at all, it was quite nice to see you completely relaxed, for once, tonight. And, now, if you don't mind me intruding, but the rest of our party has appeared to have left with out us. So, if you will allow me to, I shall escort you back to your hotel room." he offered, a bit of nervousness hinted in his voice.

Ashley nodded and linked her arm with his. There was a soothing silence between the couple as they walked down the street, 'I'm actually rather enjoying this. The atmosphere, the company…'

"So, tell me about yourself."

"What? Umm, what would you like to know?"

"Oh, I have no preference. I just want to get to know you better."

"I see… Well, my name is Ashley Marie Palin, I live with my paternal aunt and uncle in Grimsby. My parents were both passengers on the _Naronic _when it vanished, or at least that's what Aunt Mary says. I have no siblings, I've known James-- I mean, Officer Moody," she laughed, "for as long as I can remember. And now, I'm here waiting to travel on the grandest ship in the world for… obvious reasons." Ashley trailed off. "And what about you? I must know more about you." she asked out of politeness and a desperate need to fill the void of knowing silence that fell between the two.

He cleared his throat, "I shall start where you did. My name is William McMaster Murdoch, and I live on my own in Southampton. My father was a mariner, just like generations before him were as well. I have six siblings. I was born in Dalbeattie, Scotland. I've been an officer for the White Star Line for 16 years now. Currently, I am to be Chief Officer on the _R.M.S Titanic_ during her maiden voyage, which is a great honor, and I am also here to get to know a certain beautiful young woman, but that, my dear, is a discussion for another time."

Ashley was slightly taken back by this sudden abrupt stop in conversation, that is, until she noticed that they were just outside her hotel room. "She gave a curt bow, "Good night Mr. Murdo--"

"No," he chuckled, "Please, call me Will."

"All right, but you must call me Ashley."

"Of course. Well, good night _William_." she bid and was just about to turn and unlock her door when he took her hand and gently kissed her knuckles never breaking eye contact.

"Good night." he whispered before turning and walking to his room just down the hall. She watched him until he had gone into his room then opened and entered her own.

She leaned up against the door. 'I feel so funny, like a totally different person than I was a moment ago. That didn't even seem like it was me. It felt as thought I was watching a scene of a play take place right in front of me and I had no control over what happened. What happened to me?! It was like my body was taken over by someone who actually liked that man. And what possessed me to agree to call him Will…iam, and allow him to call me Ashley. I hardly know him!' she raved until her thoughts were cut short by a knock on the door she was leaning against.

She looked out the peephole and opened the door, "James?! What are you doing here?! It's way past reasonable time for you to be showing up at my door!"

"I know, I'm well aware. I just wanted to ask you about your little alone time with Murdoch. You two seemed to be having quite a nice conversation from what I saw through the peephole." James smiled.

"You spied on us?!"

"No! I was just waiting for you to come back, I promise! You were so far behind, I actually started to worry." he assured sincerely.

"All right, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt just this once." Ashley laughed leading him a little farther into her room.

"What did you two talk about?"

"Well, he asked me to tell him a little about me, so I did, and I asked the same from him in return. He's no inexperienced seaman, James. He's been an officer for the White Star Line for 16 years! That's almost as long as I've been alive!"

"Yes, I know. That would be the reason why he is _Chief _Officer," he laughed. "And he's not old, Ashley!"

"Oh, I know! I'm not saying that at all! I just meant he knows what he's doing when it comes to sailing. His age, until he told me he'd been sailing 16 years, well more than that I imagine, was a mystery to me. I knew he was older, but there's a kind of youngness about him. He's not drab or strict like my aunt and uncle can be. He seems well rounded, down to Earth, and he is quite the gentleman." she ranted sitting down on her bed.

"So, you agree with Aunt Mary's choice. Do you like him?"

"I believe, if we had met any other way, under any other circumstance, I do believe I would have liked him very much."

"What do you mean "would have"? You were just talking about how admirable and, dare I say, appealing he was a moment ago!"

"Yes, he is admirable and appealing, but I have set myself against this man."

"Why? Simply because you are being forced to marry him?! That's ridiculous!"

"The fact that I am being forced into matrimony with this man that I've only just found out existed isn't the only reason that I dislike the man. That fact that he is older and not already married is the trouble. Be logical, if he really is as perfect as I believe him to be then why is he not married? Why aren't there women dieing to know him? There must be something there that we don't see…"

"Be logical? You're the one not being logical! What if it's not him that has the problem, what if it's the women that have associated themselves with him. I don't know the man that well, so I'm not taking his side, but all I'm saying is that you're just trying to find something, some flaw that will allow you to justify your unjustifiable dislike of Mr. Murdoch. You're trying not to like him, and the fact that you can't find something wrong with him is going to make not falling in love with him extremely difficult."

Ashley sighed and put a hand up to shield her eyes from her best friend. She wasn't about to cry, no, she just knew he was right, "Your right. Your absolutely right James, and it does scare me. Part of me wants to make my aunt feel guilty for setting me up in a bad marriage, but part of me wants to give it a chance."

"I know, I know." he comforted her, sat down next to her and held her hand. "Think about it this way, you may never fall in love with him, but he'll at least make a good husband. You enjoy his company, right?" she nodded. "Then, it will turn out all right, it could have been much worse. You could've had to marry me!" they both laughed. "Well, it's late, and I already have to sneak back into my own room. Good night Ashley."

"Good night James." she whispered as he walked out of her room.

"Yes, any other way and I would no doubt love him, but I just can't let myself get taken in so easily. Perhaps I could suggest to William that we just pretend the arrangement doesn't exist and that we just correspond like every other normal couple. Yes, I think I'm going to do that… If I get another minute alone with him." she muttered before getting ready for bed.


End file.
